How to deal with shyness?

Any person in some life situation can feel awkward and stiff when communicating with strangers or unfamiliar people. For some, shyness becomes a character trait over time.

The shyness mechanism is most often turned on, when a person finds himself in a circle of representatives of the opposite sex, strangers, people of authority, or people of other age groups... Even close friends and parents can drive a person into paint. External causes are any situations associated with communication, especially when a subject capable of experiencing shyness is in the center of attention.... For example, when making a speech at a forced speaker, the heart begins to beat strongly, the face turns red, and a slight stutter appears. In dealing with unfamiliar people, such a person may show excessive modesty for fear of receiving public censure.

Shy people are highly dependent on the opinions of others.... They have low self-esteem, therefore, elementary communication with others often leads the subject to stress. It is difficult for a shy person to make a phone call to get the necessary information or talk to a sales assistant. Squeezed individuals focus on their own shortcomings and do not see their merits.

Shyness usually begins to form in childhood. Shyness can be transmitted to a child automatically from shy parents. If the father and mother have this quality, then the baby perceives it as the norm. In other families, it is customary to constantly criticize and humiliate their children, and they become isolated.

Constant parental prohibitions, exaggerated requirements also lead the child to excessive stiffness. The reasons for the appearance of shyness can be stereotypes. Often, parents have high hopes for the baby and praise him. In the future, he is afraid to destroy their illusion and is afraid to express his thoughts aloud, to defend his own point of view.

People who are not confident in their own abilities often have a feeling of embarrassment and shyness in the company. It happens out of fear of possible criticism and low self-esteem. Some are willing to label themselves unfoundedly. For example, someone noticed that during a conversation he breaks through a sweat, he begins to consider himself a nervous person. It seems to a person that those around him notice his nervousness. Each next performance makes this person even more nervous. An unfounded assumption leads away from the true cause and leads to biased self-esteem.

Some are ashamed and embarrassed. as a result of the psychological trauma experienced. They want to protect themselves from situations that cause stiffness in the future, and they withdraw into themselves. Often, the habit of spending most of your time alone with yourself leads to inner tightness. A person gradually loses communication skills. In this case, a large crowd of people causes panic and a desire to hide in a quiet familiar place.

Many shy people find it difficult to overcome their shyness. Fortunately, this trait is amenable to correction. You just need to express a desire to change and apply strength to stop being a shy person. First of all, one should learn to respect oneself.

People with low self-esteem suffer from prejudice. Shy people take any refusal at their own expense.

Shy individuals are passive and less popular. It is not surprising that a modest girl can be observed rejection of any compliments addressed to her. The young lady is sure that kind words have nothing to do with her, but simply those around her want to please the girl. Such people are hypersensitive to criticism. With pronounced shyness, self-esteem is always reduced. Realize your own strengths, set worthy goals for yourself. Self-respect instills inner confidence and calmness.

If in an adult, shyness was formed in childhood due to a kind of contact with parents, then you need to understand that the mother and father tried to educate as best they could. They gave as much warmth and love as they could. Do not blame them for this and mentally torment yourself. Leave childhood in the past, now it is in your power to take responsibility for the events taking place. Don't be afraid to make the wrong decision. You need to consider your mistakes an invaluable experience.

The state of inner stiffness can be overcome with the help of some actions.

• Sports and spiritual development help to stop being a shy person and get rid of isolation. Good physical shape raises self-esteem, so attending sports sections leads to inner emancipation and allows a person to overcome self-doubt. It is necessary to read fiction and educational literature, attend thematic lectures and seminars. All invitations from friends to attend concerts, cinemas, exhibitions and any entertainment events must be accepted.
• Introverted people are encouraged to communicate with strangers. Make it a goal to meet a new person at least once every 10 days. First, you should look for friends through social networks. Then you need to make attempts to get to know each other in crowded places. Once in line by chance, be sure to start a conversation with the person standing next to you.
• You can fight inner stiffness by committing some daring act.... For example, try a parachute jump, take part in motor sports, take part in a public speech, a beauty contest. Put on extravagant clothes, get a new haircut, dye your hair a bright color. Become a volunteer, attend various charity events. Invite someone of the opposite sex to a theater, planetarium, or ski trip.

To eliminate the existing difficulties in communicating with a squeezed person, you should pay attention to some factors.

• Analysis of sensations. Admit the problem. Try to remember when you first began to feel shy and awkward in a relationship. Interference in communication with others can be eliminated by accepting oneself as a person. Disrespect for one's own person leads to insecurity and shyness.
• Personal development... Any individual needs constant self-improvement. Reading books, visiting museums and theaters, taking courses develops a sense of self-worth and instills the necessary confidence.
• Individuality. An important point is the awareness of your inner essence. You need to remember all your talents and characteristics that distinguish you from other people. Feel free to display them in front of others. They form the basis for shaping your personality.
• The art of communication... The presence of common interests and hobbies expands the circle of communication. You need to learn how to strike up a conversation with others. Do not shy away from the people you are interested in, try to get to know them, start close interaction. Take a course in public speaking, if necessary.

Shy people find it difficult to build romantic relationships, achieve heights in the professional field, solve some everyday problems. Often, communication with the opposite sex does not work out due to a bad relationship with one of your own parents. Psychologists recommend establishing contact with the father and mother, making peace with them.

You can become an open girl by showing interest in the stories of your companion, smiling and nods of approval. Ask the chosen one leading questions, do not be afraid to talk about yourself, share with him your experience, interesting stories. Accept his invitations to cafes, cinemas and walks. During the conversation, focus your attention on him and not on yourself. Do not think that your every move is constantly being followed.

Stop self-criticism... Write down all your positive qualities in a notebook and focus on them throughout the day, increasing self-esteem and self-confidence. Declare war on excessive self-criticism. Don't focus on the negative. Be friendly with the people around you.

You can visit special trainings to overcome your fears and gain confidence in your own strength. An important point is the exclusion of the very thought of the presence of shyness. You need to choose the exact words to describe your state in typical situations and make a complete list of your own reactions. Then correct them and write down the modified version.

There are special exercises that allow you to correct anxiety and remove internal tightness.

• Smile at passers-by on the street, look them directly in the eyes, do not hide your gaze... It will be very difficult at first, but overcoming your inner “I” will gradually help you cope with insecurity and integrate into society. Practice in front of the mirror at home first, then smile often at friends and family. Start your morning with an open smile. It relieves tension. After that, you can start smiling at others.
• The next exercise involves eliminating awkwardness when dealing with strangers. During the day, ask random passers-by how to get to some sights or ask a short question: "Can you tell me what time it is?" Be sure to cover the population of different ages. Address schoolchildren, young ladies and men, mature people and the very elderly: old women and old people. Then complicate the task and ask again, pretending that you did not hear the answer.
• You can learn to behave with confidence by returning the purchased item back to the point of sale. Buy something first. After a few minutes, return to the store and tell the seller that you have changed your mind and want to return the purchased item. Don't fall for any persuasion! The seller is obliged to return the money to you for the goods. Dealing with embarrassment is helped by contacting 5 points of sale per day in order to buy and return an unwanted item.