Self-control: what is it and how to develop it?
![Self-control: what is it and how to develop it?](https://fashion.decorexpro.com/images/article/croppedtop/450-255/2020/04/samokontrol-chto-eto-takoe-i-kak-razvit.jpg)
Controlling others is much easier than controlling yourself. One who has self-control is considered a self-sufficient person. However, not every person can boast of such a character trait. Most of us often do not fully possess personal feelings and desires. Therefore, multidirectional problems arise. But don't be in a hurry to get upset. If you have already thought about this question, then you are going to remedy the situation. And then you need to act.
What it is?
First you need to decide on the meaning of the word self-control. So, the word self-control speaks for itself, namely: a person must always rule over his emotions, thoughts, feelings, words and others. Any of us, to one degree or another, has a will, and it, in turn, affects the development of self-control. Will is an internal skill that allows each of us to be competitive, makes it possible to realize all our goals and desires.
Such a definition as self-control involves performing complex actions. However, it does not imply the repression of emotions, but implies self-regulation concerning the moral part in the behavior of a person.
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The physiological and mental characteristics of a person allow self-control. Physiological features are laid with the help of genetics, and mental ones - in the process of education, for example, in a child this happens when he goes through socialization. If we rely on biology, then we can say that the function of self-control allows reaching the frontal lobe of the brain. With the weak development of this area, the individual becomes aggressive and even criminalized.
Psychology claims that through the interaction of two main opposing systems (reflex and impulsive), self-control occurs. The reflex side provides foresight of the results and even influences the correction of actions, and the impulsive side provides a quick response to what is happening around us. For example, a person wants to quit smoking. Nevertheless, he sometimes picks up a cigarette. It is in this way that impulses rule it. If this person turns on self-control in time, then he will be able to resist the desire to smoke a cigarette. This is how the control over "I" works.
There are three types of self-control.
- Temporal. It is divided into effective and current. It provides for the control of the action itself, as well as consideration of the results.
- Spatial adjusts the difference between the modal channels of perception.
- Arbitrary regulates variable factors: emotions, thinking and psyche.
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Advantages and disadvantages
Self-control can in no way be a flaw in a person's character, since this moment significantly distinguishes him from the rest and gives many advantages.
- A person believes in himself and can assess his capabilities, which means that he is peaceful.
- When a person controls himself, he can also control other people. This is ensured by a lot of life experience.
- A person has no external restrictions for development, and he is free.
- A person looks at himself as if from the outside, knows how to manage his feelings and emotions. This gives him the right to self-respect.
- When a person gains self-control, he becomes patient. In addition, he is able to find and correct the flaws that are present in his character in himself.
However, the main advantage of self-control is the increase in efficiency from making any decisions. At the same time, a person can easily prevent his impulsive behavior, and this greatly increases his chance of success.
With the help of self-control, a person's concentration improves, and he can also easily get rid of bad habits.
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Examples of self-control
Self-control is such a quality that is not easy for a person. Discipline is part of self-control. For example, a professor needs to finish a project he has begun, he works on it tirelessly, instead of going to the cinema or to a cafe. There is also social control. For example, a person was unfairly accused of something and insulted. Instead of rushing into a fight, he restrains his emotions. Thus, he will prevent the development of the conflict.
Such self-control is worth a lot. Thanks to him, people can remain human even in the most extreme situations. In the process of activities that must be completed, many of us lose our nerves. For example, a student is unable to solve a problem. The student who has a "strong-willed core" in his character will certainly solve the problem himself or with the help of adults. If the child does not have self-control, he will give up classes and run outside to play football.
The same can be said for students. In their educational activities, they have to learn a lot of new material. If in this case there is no self-control, then the student will not be able to assimilate the necessary knowledge, which means that he will not become a highly qualified specialist. Therefore, the control of their behavior and their activities is very important for any person. It helps you go forward and achieve your goals.
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How to develop?
Self-control can be developed. To do this, you need to make an informed choice and develop a certain direction in thinking. Various exercises will help in this, as well as trainings for adults and children.
And remember that when developing self-control, one should not expect that everything will go “like clockwork”. Only regular practice and a strong-willed attitude will help you achieve the result. First of all, you need to develop some good habits.
Mode
First of all, you need to start from this point. To complete it, you should draw up a daily routine on a piece of paper. Do it beautifully. Have each item written in colored ink. For example, start each day with a 7 a.m. wake-up call, exercise and a delicious breakfast. Next, decide on the time to go to work. In the evening, plan the activities that you will do during working hours. Be sure to keep things like leisure and entertainment in mind and put them in your daily schedule. Go to bed at a specific time. At first, you will find these recommendations difficult to follow.
However, if you show perseverance and perseverance, and also can overcome yourself, you will gradually get used to realizing such simple self-tasks.
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Healthy eating
This point plays an important role in the development of self-control. If you are accustomed to eating fatty and fried foods in the morning or eating what is left in the evening, you should give up this habit.
Eating a healthy diet ensures you feel great, which is a direct path to calmness and containment of emotions. Your body should be in perfect order, and tasty and high-quality food will help fulfill this condition. For example, it is very good to taste oatmeal in the morning, which will supply your body with all the necessary substances.
It is also not forbidden to eat eggs, butter, bread, vegetable salads, fruits for breakfast. For lunch, it is useful to eat soups and cereals. Do not forget about the usefulness of compotes. Boiled meat will be much healthier than fried or stewed meat.
Dairy products are good for you at any time of the day. If you are hungry between lunch and dinner, then you can afford to drink a glass of kefir or eat 200 g of cottage cheese. Dinner should be light and contain only quality products.
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Punctuality and fulfillment of promises
Once you have decided to develop such a character trait as self-control, you will need to get used to never being late anywhere. This will help the development of good habits. At the same time, it is not necessary to think that you will succeed the first time. The main thing is striving, and then it will be much easier for you to move towards the goal.
To stop being late, move all clocks forward half an hour. This is the best and proven way. It is not forbidden to come to a meeting before everyone else, but being late is threatened with sanctions. In addition, if you have promised to fulfill something to yourself or to a stranger, then try to fulfill the promise. Therefore, never promise what you cannot fulfill. It is not worth talking lightly and about a difficult task. Before giving hope to people, think about the process of fulfilling your commitment. Remember to make a commitment only when you are confident in your strengths and capabilities.
If you have encouraged yourself or others, then do not forget that you have taken responsibility. Do not let this thought leave you until the very final moment.
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Self-development
When a person is confident in his knowledge, he may not worry about his capabilities, therefore, he is able to keep his emotions under control. To be confident in yourself, you need to constantly engage in self-development.
- Set goals. They are long-term and short-term. Moreover, they should not be contradictory and should have some flexibility.
- Do self-discovery. If you are a sane person, you should be able to prioritize and have certain ideals. These factors will help you move forward and not stop there.
- Set yourself a task. You should definitely find ways to solve this problem.
- Act anytime, anywhere. Only then can you move towards the goal.
To get it done, follow the steps below.
- Choose a priority direction. This must be done in order not to go astray.
- You should not accept the world as gray and impersonal, but paint it in colors. Then life will become much more interesting.
- Learn to focus on your goal.
- Write down your desires and thoughts.
- Appreciate your time. Do not be sprayed over trifles.
- Choose an environment that allows you to move forward, not backward.
- Don't give in to stressful situations.
Reading books helps very well in self-development. You can engage in the study of any sciences or such activities that people really need. For example, volunteering or repairing household and audio equipment. The choice is great, you just have to find something to your liking.
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Meditation
Meditation exercises help to exercise self-control very well. Such methods will not harm you, and if you regularly practice spiritual practices, you will have a chance to calm your mental state. This, in turn, will raise your self-control.
Those who want to solve the problem in this way should start with the simplest technique. In order for you to succeed, fulfill a number of conditions.
- Do not gorge yourself before meditation.
- Decide on a place to practice meditation. It should be quiet and comfortable.
- Sit on a chair or sit comfortably on the couch.
- Close your eyes and start breathing deeply. Concentrate on this process.
- After that, you should relax and imagine that there is a warmth in your chest. It is an energy that begins to grow with each breath.
- The energy becomes so much that it spreads throughout the body. First it enters the heart, and then it is redistributed to all organs. As a result, even the smallest part of your body is filled with light power.
- With each breath you feel that you become stronger, and the negativity that has accumulated inside your body goes away once and for all.
- Complete pacification sets in.
- Now you have freed yourself from inner barriers, insecurities and doubts.
- They were replaced by warmth, comfort and complete relaxation. You are calm and ready to share this calmness with people.
- To complete the meditation, take another deep breath and exhale. Open your eyes and sit in a comfortable position for a little more.
Reflect on the process and feel the confidence you have gained as a result of the practice.
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other methods
Success depends on many factors, including self-control. Those who possess it, in most cases, are successful and wealthy. It is very difficult to break them, since self-control is a character trait inherent in winners. Yet specialist research has proven that self-control is a limited resource. As soon as a person starts to use it, he loses energy. Following this, the level of glucose in his body decreases. Psychologists call such a process "ego depletion", since forces quickly burn out during self-control.
That's why, if you are constantly in control, reward yourself for it. Going to the cinema, theaters, cafes will help you to replenish your strength, and you can also attend various trainings. Such methods will not only stimulate you to further advance, but also calm your psyche. The above method is rewarding. And yet you need to not only encourage yourself, but also scold. You need to punish yourself if you showed weakness and could not keep your "I". Uncontrolled behavior can lead to trouble, and this should never be allowed.
If a person was tempted and could not resist it, then he must punish himself. For example, a young lady on a diet ate half of the cake. She should punish herself. The girl must make a promise to herself that she will not touch sweets for 1 month. This self-flagellation will contribute to the development of self-control and self-discipline.
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All temptations are beyond consciousness, so you need to keep your distance from them.It is necessary to constantly monitor the brain activity and reorient the brain in such a way that it strives to fulfill the highest goal, and not to eat the cake.
At the same time, it is necessary to observe complete optimism. If something does not work out for you, do not give up. You still need to strive for a result. For example, consider that your path to achieving your goal is not so difficult as it is interesting. Therefore, your outer and inner worlds should not be gloomy, but optimistic.
In addition, there are several more recommendations that indirectly affect the development of self-control.
- Write and speak correctly. This method will significantly raise self-esteem, and with it, self-control will develop.
- Always admit your mistakes and be polite to the people around you. This method develops a responsible attitude towards other people, and therefore self-control.
- Don't ever complain. Such actions will not make it easier for you, but you will significantly spoil your mood. Next, your psyche will suffer. Then it will be difficult to keep your feelings under control.
- Cheating makes a person feel insecure in society. So don't be fooled.
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