Self-control: what is it and how to develop it?
![Self-control: what is it and how to develop it?](https://fashion.decorexpro.com/images/article/croppedtop/450-255/2020/04/samoobladanie-chto-eto-takoe-i-kak-razvit.jpg)
Sometimes you look at a person and you are surprised at his self-control. This is truly a very good feeling, which helps not only not to lose face in a difficult situation, but also quickly find a way out of it. Not all of us are given such a character trait. But don't be upset. Self-control can be developed with specific exercises. You just need to work on yourself a little.
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What it is?
In psychology, it is customary to speak in the language of definitions. Means, the ability to control the situation that has arisen and at the same time maintain control of your internal state is called self-control.
This state helps the person to manage their emotions. To hold on to his feelings, he needs to come to possessing great energy potential.
Self-control also includes qualities such as willpower, courage, and decisiveness. If they are present in the character and complement each other, then the person always and everywhere keeps his inner world under control.
That's why such people are able to easily achieve their life goals and solve difficult tasks. When making a decision, sobriety is very important. If emotions take over, then solving the problem becomes very difficult.
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Advantages and disadvantages
Self-control is always only one plus for any person. Therefore, it is difficult to say anything about the lack of self-control. Unless a person endowed with such a quality may seem to some individuals to be an overly cold and self-confident person.
Let's move on to a direct consideration of situations that can arise if a person has a complete lack of self-control.
- With various changes, for example, a change in job or place of residence, a person who does not have endurance can become depressed due to the doubts that overwhelm him. Anyone who has endurance will always find more pluses than minuses from change.
- Various tests can unsettle a person who cannot keep his psychological state "in hand". For example, taking exams or being interviewed for a job. A person who is unable to control his emotions in his hands may not cope with the task. Because of the excitement, he will forget all his skills and knowledge.
- A person can become confused due to various losses. The loss of loved ones is an ordeal for any individual. However, if there is no self-control in the character, then for a person such a blow can become fatal. There are other losses, for example, material ones - they can also become a very serious test for those who cannot keep their inner state in order.
- Various grievances or conflicts can significantly ruin a person's life if he does not have self-control. Such persons will face disappointment and a complete loss of self-confidence. Moreover, if the lack of self-control leads to a loss of control over their emotions, the individual can commit such an act that will entail many negative consequences.
From this we can conclude that self-control is a very essential character trait that gives a person many advantages. With the help of this quality, any person can make a specific decision that will help overcome all difficulties.
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How to develop?
It becomes clear that self-control is a much needed quality. Therefore, everyone, without exception, needs to learn endurance and calmness in any situation. Various techniques will help in this, which will be discussed below.
Meditation
Spiritual practices will definitely help anyone who wants to maintain clarity of mind in a stressful situation and not lose control over a negative situation. Meditations help a person to establish contact not only with himself, but also with the whole Universe. The knowledge gained as a result of such a dialogue is able to bring the human mind to a new level. It is this level that makes it possible to believe in yourself and keep your emotions under control. We can safely say that learning to train your mind means finding the key to yourself.
In order for you to succeed, you need to start with the simplest exercises.
- Choose a place that is quiet and comfortable.
- Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
- Breathe deeply. If different thoughts come into your head, do not drive them away, but simply watch how they appear and go away. Through this process, you gradually abstract away.
- If you find it difficult to concentrate, wear headphones with special soothing music.
- Thanks to the above actions, your condition will gradually move to a new level. You will feel confident and completely calm.
- At this moment, it is important to believe in yourself and imagine that your inner energy is growing like a snowball.
- Now exhale and say to yourself: "Now I am strong (flax) and free (on)."
- Open your eyes and enjoy the new state.
After you learn how to practice and understand that everything is working out for you, you can move on to applying more serious practices.
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Deep breathing
It is not for nothing that many experts advise to breathe evenly and deeply if a stressful situation has happened to you. Such exercises not only help to supply oxygen to the brain, but also to calm your mind.
Taking deep breaths in and out will help the person to take a break from negativity. Only you need to observe a certain interval so that your breathing does not become intermittent and does not harm your heart.
Therefore, proceed according to the 4x4x4 scheme. Inhale slowly and count to 4, then hold the air in your lungs for 4 seconds. Then exhale for 4 seconds.
Such rules of breathing exercises help the whole body to relax easily and without strain.
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Abstraction
Know how to follow this simple rule, which will help you avoid a lot of stress and not get angry with others in a conflict situation.
Developing this quality in behavior will help keep your emotions in check. It is quite simple to work it out. If suddenly someone starts to jerk you or try to piss you off, try to turn off all your thoughts aimed at retaliatory aggression. For example, at work they say to you: "You look very bad today, and you are incompetent in some matters!" Instead of getting upset, think about the good weather today and you were in a great mood in the morning.
At the same time, your critic can be answered: “Why did you decide that? I personally don’t think so. ” As soon as you say these words, pretend to be independent and think about the fact that you will visit the hairdresser tonight and then go to the cafe.
Let your life-affirming thoughts interrupt the words of your abuser and give you confidence in your abilities.
If you do not be rude to him, but answer politely and as detached as possible, he will feel that you have an inner core and will no longer bother you.
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Understanding
Once you understand the nature of the problem, you can easily take control of the solution. When you learn to understand the people around you, it will be easier for you to communicate with them.
Self-control allows a person to be in control of their emotions, at a time when in other people they can get out of control. At the time of the discussion, it is important to control your mind, and this will help predict the moods and desires of opponents who are on the other side. Then you can calm everyone down, and then easily come to a general compromise.
If there is not a single person in the arguing company who has self-control, then such a group will not be able to find the root of the problem and solve it.
Therefore, always and everywhere you need to be able to manage your emotions. Then you will be able to predict the desires of your opponents and make a decision in time so that a conflict situation does not arise.
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Vagus Nerve Imaging
If the tone of the vagus nerve is healthy, then the person's physical health will be normal. The vagus nerve is a variety of branches that reach almost all organs of the human body. Through this component, the brain can send signals to different ends of the body and receive responses. The vagus nerve is often compared to a general who is capable of giving orders.
If a person is nervous, then the vagus nerve perceives this moment as a danger, and sends negative signals to the entire body. Therefore, palpitations, tremors in the knees and much more occur.
To stay calm, the vagus nerve needs to be stimulated. For example, this can be done by visualizing it. By and large, it is the source of neurobiological components that give a person mental and physical peace. Therefore, with its help, a person can quickly "pull himself together."
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It turns out a kind of placebo effect. For example, When you breathe deeply, you enable the vagus nerve to trigger the production of substances that significantly lower your heart rate, calm the nervous system, and thereby lower blood pressure. Therefore, seek help from the vagus nerve as a living being.
To do this, it can be imagined as a huge rod located inside the spine, from which many branches extend. They go through your entire body and reach your extremities. It is through these branches that you can send positive signals to your organs and muscles.
This way you can control not only your body, but also your emotions, since the biological roots of self-control come from the vagus nerve.
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Physical activity
It gives a person not only health, but also strength. A physically strong personality can only one of its appearance plunge the enemy into flight. So go in for sports.
Jogging in the morning or evening helps a lot. This activity will significantly reduce your anxiety, and this is a direct way to control your emotions.
You can meet like-minded people and make friends with them. New acquaintances are always beneficial and help a person to believe in himself. For example, an uncommunicative person will understand that his flaw was himself and invented. Thus, he will cease to distance himself from other people. And this leads to the development of self-control and self-control.
Even simple exercise in the form of physical exercise can help you get rid of multidirectional problems.
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Celebrate progress
Even if you do not achieve any significant achievements, you will still need to note positive dynamics in your activities. Remember that someone who does nothing will not be able to achieve success in this or that business.
In this case, we are talking about the development of self-control. Do not rush things, study hard and write down all your results in a special notebook. After a month has passed, review the entries. Surely you will see that your actions were not in vain.
Everytime, when you can overcome the next step, for example, maintain self-control in a certain controversial situation, be sure to encourage yourself. Then treat yourself to a delicious treat or go to the cinema, cafe. You can invite to celebrate this event and friends. Then your holiday will become more interesting. And then you will understand that keeping emotions under control is useful not only for your mental state, but also for communicating with other people.
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Examples of self-control
In life, there are various unforeseen situations in which it is necessary to show restraint at least in order to save yourself and the people around you. For example, a person in front of you fainted. In this case, you should not panic, but should act.
First of all, you need to call an ambulance and provide all possible first aid. Lay the person on their back to give their body a comfortable posture and thus provide oxygen flow. It will be right. However, this is not always the case.
There are people who are used to raising a panic and calling for help, running around the victim. Onlookers flock to the screams. They raise dust, and a person who is already in poor physical condition suffers from a lack of oxygen.
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If you give examples further, then you need to say about endurance in the event of conflict situations. For example, you have an argument with your co-worker who has long been picking on you for no reason. A person with self-control will not raise a scandal, but will find a way to adequately respond to the offender.
To do this, he calmly asks the bully to explain the essence of the problem. Surely in response, he will receive a new portion of negativity. However, this should not cause a scandal either. Remember that negativity breeds more negativity.
Therefore, it is necessary to calmly explain to the person that you are not going to conflict with him.
Doing so disgusts you. After which you need to calmly leave the place of conflict.
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