What is antipathy and how to deal with it?

Sometimes, for no apparent reason, someone likes one person, and the other is so annoying that there is hostility towards him. It is important for each personality to determine the objective signs of personal intolerance and find ways to get rid of the feeling of antipathy.

The meaning of "antipathy" includes an emotion that expresses a withdrawal response. Mutually exclusive feelings of sympathy and antipathy usually manifest themselves in interpersonal relationships. In social science, rejection of another creature is considered a feeling of stable emotional predisposition to the subject. This means that the person instinctively rejects the other person. This negative feeling is most often not logically supported by anything.

In psychology, there is the following definition: antipathy is the property of a person to experience rejection, rejection, disapproval, dislike for something or someone. The subject evaluates those around him according to his personal perception of reality, his own understanding of good and evil. This feeling is the result of bias and bias. Antipathy means rejection of another person, its principles, behavioral features and life guidelines. Sometimes interactions with a disliked subject result in hate.

The manifestation of persistent disapproval, hostility towards people or phenomena around them is not always amenable to control. Sometimes antipathy towards the subject arises unexpectedly and inexplicably. Before you is quite a decent person without obvious negative traits, but for some reason you feel dislike and irritation towards him.Negative emotions can be caused by gestures, body movements, demeanor, smell, voice, hair color, smile, laughter.

And sometimes a person deliberately rejects an individual whose behavior does not correspond from his point of view of moral ideas. Deceit, hypocrisy, cunning, meanness of the subject lead to a conscious antipathic perception. In this case, antipathy appears consciously.

A negative attitude towards the subject appears due to the discrepancy between one's own ideas and reality.... This is an unaccountable feeling. In antipathetic objects, the person sees the cause of personal troubles. He sees in them the root of all his troubles and problems. Antipathy arises towards those from whom danger may come. This feeling serves as one of the motivational regulators of interpersonal and intergroup relationships.

The reasons for the appearance of antipathy can be very different. Let's take a look at some of them.

• The source of antipathy can be the idea of ​​harm, danger, inferiority of a subject or object, based on personal, hereditary experience or instilled in education. Differences in worldview and political views can also generate feelings of hostility.
• Emotional contact is the cause of antipathy. Mutual hostility can arise from meeting each other too often. An obsessive, choking concern for strangers, for one's own children, for a husband often causes internal rejection, which gradually develops into hostility. If a marriage was created without sincere love for each other, then gradually, with respect for the other half that has not been formed during the period of cohabitation, a feeling of antipathy develops. Often, the movements and antics of the child resemble an unloved husband and therefore greatly annoy the mother.
• Character traits, appearance, individual personality traits sometimes cause negative emotions. Excessive talkativeness, detailing stories takes a lot of time. The interlocutor thinks that it is better to spend it on something useful. Frequent bragging about your children's successes can irritate unwilling listeners.
• Someone treats a friend badly because of his good material security. He may feel jealous. It is annoying to realize that a competitor has qualities that someone who would really like to have does not.
• Negative emotions can arise for other reasons as well. It happens that the interlocutor does not know how to listen, and you are offended that your efforts are not noticed. Sometimes you need to feel support and approval from someone. Without this, you do not believe in your own success. And your partner doesn't appreciate you, doesn't notice your emotions. Doesn't the person remind you of your strict teacher, who once gave you two marks?

Antipathy can be recognized by some external manifestations. A cold glance from under the brows, an icy tone in his voice indicate a person's desire to get rid of painful communication as soon as possible. With antipathy, palpitations are heard. Tension in the muscles, trembling lips are observed when the other creature is rejected. A negative attitude is given out by:

• tight mouth;
• interlocking fingers;
• furrowed brows.

Persistent disapproval is reflected in the following gestures and behavior:

• crossed arms or legs;
• sneer;
• the person pretends to yawn, looks to the side;
• smokes one cigarette after another without interruption;
• snaps knuckles
• pouts her lips.

Communication is accompanied by a feeling of internal discomfort. A person for no apparent reason moves away from his partner. Keeping a distance between companions sometimes indicates an undesirable attitude towards the interlocutor.

There are clear examples of the first signs of emerging disunity in the professional and social environment.

• People always dined together, spent their weekends. And suddenly, for no apparent reason, they stopped communicating, as if a cat had run between them. In fact, this may be preceded by the appearance of any disagreements, due to which mutual sympathy has grown into dislike.
• Restraint in communication, alienation often appears if a person reproached another for something during a quarrel. Some talk to their coworkers about their own habits, family relationships, and other aspects of life. Sometimes it becomes known that a friend gave the secret to a stranger.

Unreasonable antipathy only at first glance does not contain any apparent reasons. In fact, it has a foundation. For example, a partner utters neutral phrases, but at the same time behaves arrogantly. His interlocutor unconsciously fixes all sorts of little things, which causes the nervousness of the personality.

There is an associative antipathy... Often there is a kind of transfer of painful thoughts. In this case, a person extracts from the depths of memory unpleasant memories of another subject, who once caused him mental pain and suffering. The manifestation of antipathy can be hidden and overt.

Any person is capable of transmitting information about himself, his emotions, mood using reflex means. Not everyone can hide their true feelings. Wet palms can indicate intense excitement, trembling fingers and dilated pupils - fear. Summarizing and processing non-verbal information, the brain involuntarily transmits its assessment to the interlocutor. The subconscious of the personality allows you to reflect the attitude towards the partner. Sometimes a complete stranger resembles a person whom he hates in his demeanor, speech or smell. Feelings of irritation and dislike appear.

Often, a negative reaction occurs due to a disturbed personal space. Each has its own area permissible for a stranger.

Sometimes a person who dislikes another cannot hide his irritation. He provokes the interlocutor into a quarrel, conflict. Sorting out a relationship in a public place is often a sign of clear antipathy. An irresistible enmity that catches the eye is often accompanied by tightly clenched fists, lowered along the body. The desire to occupy all the available space with your body and the hands folded behind your back are also a frank demonstration of a feeling of disgust for a partner.

By recognizing and accepting the underlying causes of antipathy, you can overcome the negative emotions that interfere with good relationships. It’s not so scary when a feeling of dislike appears in relation to a casual acquaintance or fellow traveler on the train. It is much worse when a business partner or relative begins to annoy. Dislike interferes with healthy and effective communication.

Do not suppress irritation at the root. First you need to find the reason for the dislike. Sometimes it is quite insignificant. In this case, to solve the problem, it is enough to understand the cause of the antipathy that has arisen.

To form a positive attitude towards a person, it helps to fix all his positive qualities on a piece of paper. You need to give your assessment to every good trait of a partner. It happens that a person himself is guilty of creating ill-will towards other people.

In case of complete disgust for the individual, one must try to limit communication.

You can use this exercise to overcome negative attitudes towards someone you know.

1. First you need to relax and mentally imagine the unpleasant subject. Then you need to accurately determine what specifically does not suit this person: demeanor, mental qualities or disgusting deeds.
2. It is necessary to compose short phrases containing the characteristics of the character. For example, they may look like this: “self-confident arrogant type”, “hypocritical person”, “haughty smile”, “defiant behavior”.
3. Then try applying all of these traits to yourself. Having tried these qualities on your own person, you will be able to notice that at some periods of your life they were present in you.
4. Usually your image is perceived a little differently than it really is. It is easy to see the flaws of the other person. But when you take an impartial look at yourself from the outside, you will be surprised to find that these same negative aspects are inherent in you too. After such a discovery, hostility towards another subject will gradually disappear.