Traditions and customs of the Chechen wedding

Weddings in Chechnya are distinguished by their national flavor. This is a rather beautiful event, consisting of a large number of rituals that have remained unchanged for several centuries.

A distinctive feature of Chechen wedding rituals is that they are observed with the utmost precision so as not to miss any of the customs. It should be noted that modern marriages in Chechnya are quite democratic. Contrary to popular belief, no one is forced to marry girls, since this conflicts with religious canons. Moreover, Chechens treat girls of their ethnicity extremely respectfully and delicately, regardless of whether it is a daughter, sister, wife, or just an outsider.

Getting married in Chechnya is possible only with the permission of parents on both sides., wedding traditions simply do not provide otherwise. Before the matchmaking, the groom's representatives carefully study the biography of his beloved, as well as the biography of all members of her family for at least three or four generations: this is important in order to completely eliminate the likelihood of incest.

Usually, young people get to know each other in two ways.

• At the wedding of relatives: according to tradition, a Chechen wedding gathers a large number of guests, and there are always unmarried girls among them.Usually, in anticipation of the celebration, they make embroidery on handkerchiefs and be sure to take them with them. During the festive event, young Chechens look at these girls, and if one of them is attracted to someone, he passes a candy or other treat for her through a friend or relative. If a Chechen woman intends to respond favorably to the courtship of this man, she responds with her embroidered scarf, and the acquaintance is recognized as perfect.
• If a young man likes a certain girl, but weddings are not expected in the near future, he can try to ask her out on a date. In this case, he sends his invitation through her friend or sister, or through the children. After they meet several times, the man can afford to start talking about marriage.

When the lovers decide to tie the knot, the groom must inform the female part of his family about his plans: his mother, grandmother and sister. If they perceive such news negatively, then most often the man changes his mind. If women give their blessings, the family sends matchmakers to the bride. For many centuries, there was a custom in Chechnya to steal a bride, but the current head of the republic, Ramzan Kadyrov, imposed a ban on such actions, stating that marriage should be based on love and mutual respect of both parties, and for those who decide to steal their beloved in the old fashioned way, there is a serious criminal offense. punishment.

The last word when deciding on the possibility of a wedding between the young always remains with the girl's father. According to tradition, a wedding can only take place if permission is given by representatives of both families. Matchmaking is a small feast attended by the matchmaker on the part of the man and the girl's parents. At this moment, the guests inform about the purpose of their visit, and the father of the prospective bride promises to think about the proposal.

If the parent responded with his consent, then the groom redeems his beloved. On the agreed day, the groom comes to the girl's house, as well as his closest relatives and, of course, the mullah. To begin with, the mullah asks the bride's father for his consent to the marriage, then the girl herself, and two married Chechen women must be present. After that, the mullah conducts a special ceremony in a separate room, first with the bride, and then with the groom, then the young are considered husband and wife, and as proof they are given a marriage certificate.

The size of the ransom that the man's family must pay for the young man before the wedding is determined by the mullah. According to traditions, the Chechen groom pays even a larger ransom than the mullah will determine - this is how he demonstrates his best intentions, emphasizing his gratitude to the girl's family for her upbringing and skills. The procedure for matchmaking and ransom in Chechnya is treated with great scrupulousness: the groom is made to understand that his beloved is more than just a beautiful girl, more than money and property. She is primarily the mother of his future children.

As for the dowry, it is not accepted in Chechnya.

Wedding ceremonies of the Chechen people abound in various interesting rituals and beautiful ceremonial gestures. From the very early morning, the bride goes through several rituals, the first of which is bathing. The young room is fumigated with various incense, the bath is filled with water and herbal infusions are poured into it.

Then the girl puts on the dress.It is imperative that it be on the floor, with well-covered shoulders, arms, back and neckline, and a festive scarf is tied over the head. A sharp needle is usually attached to the hem, and a small handkerchief with a ribbon and a small silver coin is given to the young man. The girl will then cherish these gifts for the rest of her life: it is believed that they are her talisman, protecting from evil forces, poverty and poverty. Even in the evening, the girl collects her things, where relatives secretly put apricot pits or beans: in this way they wish young fertility and the early appearance of the first child.

Meanwhile, preparations for the celebration begin in the groom's house. It is here that a cortege arrives, consisting of a large number of expensive and beautiful cars, and the best car is intended for a girl. This cortege goes to the bride, where the mullah, together with the young, counts special suras from the Holy Quran. Then the best man three times circles the girl around the hearth, and then symbolically breaks the rope - with this he seems to tear the young woman away from her parents' house. The girl gets into the car and heads to the house of her future husband.

Usually, the girl's relatives in every possible way prevent the departure of the motorcade. They stretch ropes or set up all sorts of obstacles to get a kalym. All the money collected during this ritual is then given to the bride, thereby emphasizing that it is she who becomes the mistress of the family. In the man's house, the mullah completes the wedding ceremony, and from that moment the couple becomes already married. Upon arrival at the man's house, the girl is awaited by another check: on the way to her mother-in-law's dwelling, a small carpet and a broom are waiting for her.

According to the customs, a man's relative should shower a girl with money and sweets, and then pour a mixture of honey and butter into a spoon and give a drink first to the mother-in-law, and then to the youngest one. At this moment, shots are usually fired, which are designed to scare away evil spirits. It can only be a blow gun, since firearms are officially prohibited in Chechnya. Traditionally, Chechen weddings are held in a restaurant, so the best man takes the girl from her husband's house and brings her to the place of the festive event, where, in accordance with tradition, a place is reserved for her in the corner.

I must say that the ceremony of celebrating marriage for a girl is quite difficult: despite the fact that everyone can come to the wedding, the young woman herself must be in the far corner all evening, while she is forbidden to drink, eat, and even move. From time to time, a friend or relative may come up to her, but only her mother-in-law or sister-in-law can sit her down at the table, and then at the very end of the ceremony, after removing her veil.

But the young spouse does not catch the eye of the wedding guests at all: he celebrates in a separate room with his closest friends. All other guests are seated in the large hall. Usually the event is held by imal-tamala, who leads the process, he also announces the beginning of the dance. Usually the dance floor is divided into two zones: ladies dance in one part, men dance in the other. Joint dances are not allowed here.

At the table, men also sit apart from women, while they are in order of seniority. Small children are not allotted a place at all - they spend time at the set table. The bride's family usually does not take part in this event, so for them such a holiday is rather a sad event.

At the end of the holiday, it is customary to give gifts at a Chechen wedding. Usually they are chosen taking into account the status of the young spouse: the higher it is, the more expensive the gift should be. In previous years, most often gave home appliances, carpets, livestock. In our time, preference is increasingly given to money so that the married couple themselves can manage the funds and purchase what they need.

There is another interesting tradition associated with gifts, rooted in the old days. There was such a custom: if a brother got married, then his sister was the first to open his wife's suitcase, look at things and take what she liked. Apparently, the girls did not really want to part with expensive items, so they began to prepare a gift for their sister-in-law: as a rule, this is a ring or other piece of jewelry that they put right on the suitcase. Thus, the husband's sister understands that this present is for her, and does not pretend to anything else.

After the wedding, the spouses need to go through several more interesting rituals. Chechen marriage customs are very complex and sometimes require the manifestation of endurance, strength and presence of mind. But they are all aimed at demonstrating mutual respect and exceptional generosity. In addition, such a long and serious ceremony symbolizes a responsible approach to building a family.

This ceremony is for the girl at the end of the first wedding day. The mother-in-law, as well as other relatives of the spouse, comes to the house of the young. Young people begin to make fun of their wife in such a way as to cheer her up, but she must certainly restrain herself in every possible way: not to laugh and not utter a word. After that, the men present begin to one by one ask her for a drink, in response the girl should bring a bowl and hand it to the oldest and most respected of them with the word "drink." In response, he is obliged to give her something, otherwise the newly-made spouse has the right to completely stop communicating with him. The husband also tries in every possible way to make his wife talk, but she must resist until she receives a gift from him. The girl usually gives all the money received during this funny ceremony to her mother-in-law.

This is a very important ceremony that completes the wedding ceremony. On the wedding day, a needle is pinned to the hem of the bride; in the evening of the same day, she must bake a cake with this very needle inside. The young wife takes this treat with her, as well as the jug, and goes with friends and girlfriends to the nearest reservoir. It is customary to throw the pie into the water and fire it with a gun, after which the young woman must fill the jug with water and take it to her new home.

A month after the wedding ceremony, the man must visit the house of his wife's parents. He usually takes expensive gifts with him, and the girl's relatives set the festive table. To begin with, the parents of the young man sit down at the table, get to know each other, but then they leave, and the young man returns: he has yet another serious test. He should try to enter the house with his shoes on, but so as not to offend his new relatives. Friends help him in this.

After that, the husband's friends and family girls sit down at the meal so that the girl's family is on one side, and the boy's friends on the other. At the same time, the man himself should stand at a distance, humbly bowing his head. It is in this position that he needs to stand all the time while the feast is going on, and if children come up to him, they should definitely be treated. A few hours later, the women take her husband to another room and there they bring him food.

At the very end of the ceremony, the spouse must put money on the dish, and his wife's sister must in return give him a ring of gold. For this, the man presents the girl with a bracelet of gold, and the ceremony is considered to have taken place. The newly-made spouse goes out to the guests and again takes his previous place on the sidelines, where he will stand until the very end of the holiday. Usually the wife-girl is also brought to her family towards the end of the evening. It happens that she even stays overnight in her native walls, and in the morning her husband picks her up.

What else you need to know about Chechen wedding customs, see the video below.