How to get rid of envy?

Heavy emotions, negative feelings first of all hurt and psychologically deplete the one who experiences them. Obsessing over resentment, envy, hatred, anger can seriously undermine psychological health. Therefore, you need to be able to quickly get rid of such reactions. In this article, we'll talk about envy: its reasons and how to defeat it.

The feeling of envy affects the psyche in a very destructive way. Malice always coexists with him. And after it, a desire to harm, to take revenge on the one whom the person envies, arises in the mind.

An envious person cannot rejoice not only in others, but even in his own victories. The latter he simply ceases to notice, because he is absorbed in assessing other people's successes and failures. Because of this, there is simply no time and energy left to live your life.

The psychology of envy of other people always lies in the envious person himself, and not at all in the surrounding or circumstances. The frequent occurrence of feelings of envy is a signal that a person cannot or does not want to work on himself. He is immersed in the search for excuses for his lack of well-being in any area. And the culprit in personal mistakes, failures, he considers another, more successful person in his eyes.

Of course, such an attitude towards oneself and others does not bode well. Instead of overcoming laziness in oneself, tightening up weaknesses of character, trying to get rid of the shortcomings of his personality, the envious stubbornly treads water. At the same time, he also significantly shakes his psycho-emotional state, because the most negative and difficult feelings go hand in hand with serious and long-term envy: anger, resentment, hatred and other destructive emotions.

There are different periods in life: black stripes alternate with good changes and ups. But even in the most difficult and unfortunate circumstances, sitting still and envious of someone else is certainly not an option.

To move on, you should start with your inner world, work through your shortcomings, eradicate negative qualities and emotions that drag you to the bottom. The further development of events in your life will depend on the success of these first steps in working on yourself.

Our plans and desires are very often at odds with reality. No one has yet managed to rule the world and completely subordinate its laws to their expectations. You should not make a catastrophe out of this, taking offense and angry at the earth and heaven for their intractability. Each of us is capable of developing and changing. And in which direction these changes will occur, it is up to us to decide.

Therefore, getting rid of negativity, including envy, is a serious and necessary step towards positive changes in life.

Criticism is pretty straightforward. We are all very prone to negative assessments of the activities or actions of other people.

Of course, we ourselves are often criticized - and not always objectively and constructively. But in any case, do not repeat what you do not like about others.

And to cope with the urge to make negative comments or criticize someone once again, try to imagine yourself in the place of another in a similar situation. Try to develop empathy for the person you intend to scold. Most likely, this will help you to restrain yourself and speak more gently and correctly, while not offending anyone.

Make it a rule to see the successes and life experiences of others not as objects of envy, but as lessons for your personal development.

Interesting activities that you can quite afford to do every day will help remove apathy, which often rolls along with negative emotions. Get a hobby, read books, watch educational films and programs. Follow the example of successful people. Do not drive yourself into a sink of inaction and negativity towards others.

Spend your days productively. Even if you have to work hard, find a half hour or an hour for an interesting favorite activity. This will fill you with energy, help you release from stress and worries accumulated during the day.

Set yourself as specific goals as possible. If you say to yourself “I want everything to be good for me,” this is an insufficient attitude, because you have not understood what “everything” and how “good” you should have.

At the same time, in your goal-setting, try to focus specifically on your personal ideals, inclinations, desires, values. Blind adherence to patterns and imposed patterns of life is a mistake.

Let's say you are jealous of your ex-husband, because he has a new family and children from another woman. But listen to yourself. Maybe, by breaking off relations with you, your man freed you from everyday life, gave you the opportunity to be free, spend your time on training, career, travel.

A friend already has 4 children by the age of 30. Think about whether you really wanted the same at her age, or whether it was just another imposed template.

Most often, the object of envy is specific successes or one of the areas of other people's lives.However, the envious person does not even think about the price at which someone got these or those benefits.

Try to suppress your detachment and put yourself in the shoes of the one you envy. Surely you will be able to discern other, less colorful aspects of his life.

The neighbor has another expensive new car, but if you watch, he leaves the house early in the morning and arrives from work late in the evening. Ask yourself whether it is worth such a hopeless, exhausting labor, absorbing all the strength and all the free time that could be spent with your family or spent on your favorite hobby.

No matter how beautiful a friend's romance may seem, she stopped appearing in your company. The new boyfriend simply deprived her of the freedom to communicate with friends. Think about whether you would like an enviable groom in exchange for a lack of personal independence.

Someone has rapidly climbed the career ladder, but has absolutely no opportunity to pay attention to his family. Or, as often happens, he can’t turn it on at all. And there are a lot of similar examples, when “somewhere it has disappeared, somewhere it has arrived”.

1. Try to look at other people's successes and gains differently. Transfer yourself to their position and genuinely rejoice - instead of being annoyed and envious. Close your eyes and imagine how you enter a new long-awaited apartment. Feel all the emotions about this event. Bring joyful feelings to the fore. In general, move your position from the point "I envy" to the point "I am sincerely happy for you." Then imagine yourself in the moments when your desires come true. Scroll through these pictures in your head as much as possible and enjoy the joy of victory and success. Surely you would not want someone to hate you and wish you evil in such moments of great joy. Therefore, you also need to overcome the tendency to envy.
2. Get yourself a small notebook. Write down the most important and priority goals and areas of life for you on the first page. Most likely, you will be surprised to find that you already have a lot of what you want, or you are close to it. At the end of each day, make a notepad entry that begins with “Today I am grateful that ...”. Next, list everything that was good and positive for you during the day, that made you happy and helped you get ahead in something. And try to understand to yourself that the absence of bad is also happiness. Remember to be grateful that misfortune has not happened to you and that you do not experience many of the troubles that others have.
3. The next exercise is in a sense a joke, but it perfectly cheers up and strengthens self-confidence. Choose your photo, preferably a portrait in which you like yourself. Glue it in the center of a large, blank sheet of paper. This will be a "certificate" that the Universe awards you. But indicate the nominations in which you have excelled and which are worthy of admiration. This can be, for example: "the most sympathetic friend", "the most caring mother", "the best husband", "excellent specialist", etc. Write your titles in beautiful colored letters under your photo. Admire and praise yourself.
4. When you once again become "hot" and you feel the unpleasant symptoms of incipient envy, try a proven psychological technique. Write down on a piece of paper a list of those you envy, indicating the specific object of envy. For example, your neighbor's car, a colleague's new boots, a friend's trip to the sea. Then go through the list and analyze each item. Do you really want the same thing? Are you looking for a huge, gas-eating jeep? The style and color of boots recently bought by a colleague will suit you? Would you like to travel to the exact place that your friend recently visited, or do you have other travel interests? If the answer is no, cross out the item and throw the envy out of our heads. If you really want the same thing, start developing a plan to achieve that goal.

Learning to overcome feelings of jealousy is a daunting task for many.Our desires change over time, and many dreams and plans never come true.

First of all, try to perceive the world around as it is, together with its flaws and imperfections.

You also need to learn to accept and love yourself, to rejoice at your successes. And while this sounds very simple, for many it is precisely this that becomes the most difficult to accomplish.

Do not get hung up on the bad, know how to rejoice at your own and others' successes, learn new things, develop. Often a person begins to look at other people's lives and envy just out of boredom and monotony.

Meditation is a good therapy for jealousy. You can start with simple techniques like focusing on your breath. Over time, you will increasingly be able to achieve a state of peace and tranquility. Much of what worried you will cease to annoy and will go far into the background.

If you feel that you are often jealous and suffer from this, do not sit still, get rid of this negative feeling.