Definition of envy and how to get rid of it
As long as humanity exists, envy also exists. This bad feeling gradually eats away from the inside of any person. Therefore, it is very difficult to live with him all the time. However, it is not so easy to get rid of envy. To do this, you need to work on yourself, namely: to prevent negative emotions and to keep your emotional state under control.
What it is?
Envy is a social phenomenon. It captures the feelings and emotions of a person, affects his behavior in society. When envy develops, the subject develops a craving for an object or phenomenon possessed by another subject. As long as this destructive feeling exists, so many people study it. For example, philosophers view envy as a destructive universal human phenomenon. When envy arises, a person has a desire to take away and appropriate achievements that belong to another person.
Melanie Klein noted that all attempts the subject takes to satisfy his envy are in vain. That is why we can safely say that this feeling leads people on the wrong path.
Psychology gives the following definition: envy is a complex combination of emotions and emotional experiences that brings an individual to a depressed state. Therefore, it can cause anxiety and gradually destroy the personality.
If we consider the story as a whole, then it should be noted: envy as a feeling has not wasted its qualities over time. It has remained the same, despite the evolution that has taken place in human thinking. The most frustrating component of jealousy is the frustration of seeing the success of your own kind.Such a manifestation interferes with focusing on useful goals.
We know that envy has been studied for a long time. Therefore, experts have identified the stages of its development. Let's consider them:
- a person begins to realize that either his financial wealth or social position is in a worse position than that of other people;
- after which a person develops annoyance, it gradually develops into dislike for those people who are distinguished by their success and well-being;
- As a result of the above factors, a person's unpleasant emotions gradually turn into specific negative statements or actions against a person who differs from others in their more successful development.
Self-sufficient and successful people usually do not experience destructive emotions.
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Psychology says that envy is a feeling that combines many emotional components, and it arises as a result of comparison. By and large, it unites all resentment, aggression, anger and irritation into one whole. When pathological envy sets in, then the human psyche includes protection. As a result, he has contempt for the subject who has in his personal arsenal that which other people do not have.
People can suffer from various negative manifestations, and they also cause envy. It has many varieties. Here are just some of its varieties: powerless, caustic, hostile, blind and even green (when people say: a person just “turned green with envy,” they mean the following: very strong envy of other people).
There are different kinds of envy.
- Short-term. It manifests itself in the form of emotions. For example, one subject was able to win a small amount of money in the lottery. Another subject had a bad feeling. However, it quickly evaporated, as the realization came to him that it is impossible to cultivate bad emotions in the soul.
- Long-term envy is already a problem. This category is very strong in its manifestations and therefore evokes certain feelings. For example, a girl is jealous of her successful friend because she married successfully.
- There is also private envy (this is a hidden feeling that leads to depression and internal conflicts).
- There is also public jealousy (usually this type does not cause negative manifestations).
In addition to the above factors, there is also black and white envy. Let's consider this issue in more detail.
White
It is good when a person has white envy. It is not for nothing that this combination of words is used when they want to express positive emotions. By and large, such formulations are used by people when they want to emphasize their admiration for others' successes. At the same time, the subjects also express their displeasure at the fact that they do not have the qualities that they would like to have.
How is this feeling useful? The fact that it can be directed in the right direction. Namely: to motivate yourself to take any action that will move you forward and become the starting point on the path to further success.
Black
This feeling cannot be constructive as it is considered destructive. Because this manifestation makes a person feel negative in relation to more successful people. Black envy is able to supplant all that is good in a person. She makes him angry and callous. And we know that the law of life is this: a negative released to freedom always returns with even greater force to the one who released it. A person gradually loses friends and becomes lonely and unnecessary.
Signs
Envy can destroy the human "I". When a personality takes hold of a destructive feeling, it ceases to be such and turns into a shadow. An envious person has anger and aggression towards the world around him. He compares himself to other, more successful people and gets depressed.And then such a person begins to live in a fictional world. It seems to him that those around him are hostile to him. Therefore, he quickly becomes insecure.
How do you know that you have begun to suffer from such a destructive feeling? Very simple. If you began to notice the above factors behind yourself, then you need to definitely deal with negative signs. Fight until they completely take over your mind.
Remember: unreasonable anger and hatred towards other people will not do you personally anything good.
In addition, some people experience envy from other people. It is not difficult to understand that you are envied.
- When rivalry arises from your friend or another person, you gradually begin to feel it. For example, your friend is always trying to get ahead of you in any actions and thus please the boss. Thus, he tries to prove to himself that he is better than you.
- People often communicate on social networks. They post various photos that indicate their success. If your virtual acquaintances are angry about your successes, it means that they envy you.
- Slander is another sign of jealousy. For example, due to the fact that your friend is jealous of you, he tries to belittle your true status and success. Therefore, the false buddy spreads rumors that you do not have certain talents for success. And in order to prove it, he cites implausible information into the argument.
- Betrayal on the part of a loved one can also be a sign of envy. If the subject envies you, then sooner or later he will certainly hurt you. Therefore, the envious person will find an object with which he will try to harm you.
For example, a friend colludes with someone. Thus, he will commit treachery.
Causes
To get rid of the problem, you need to establish where the envy comes from. Let's consider the reasons for its appearance in more detail.
- A person begins to envy if he does not find a place under the sun in this life. Dissatisfaction with fate and oneself is the most powerful psychotrauma. As a result of the occurrence of such reasons, the subject begins to experience neuroses and aggression against the one who is successful.
- Frustration (the inability to meet certain needs) becomes the source of envy. It develops into pathology. For example, a lack of funds or power, or envy of others' successes, forces the individual to compare himself with other people. Simply put: a poor person begins to envy a rich person, and an unsuccessful person begins to envy a successful one.
- This feeling arises due to dissatisfaction with their external data. For example, a girl is jealous of her beautiful friend. She is oppressed by resentment, and she begins to dissolve gossip about her more successful friend. In the meantime, the young lady just needs to understand: maybe nature has deprived her of beauty, but endowed with interest with other virtues. She needs to identify them and use them.
- When a person's mental operations are not at the highest level, then he may have envy of smarter and more successful people in this regard.
- Disease can also cause a destructive feeling. If the subject suffers from any ailment, he is jealous of healthy people. He, too, wants to live and have fun the way others easily do.
- Subjectivity can be involved in the emergence of envy. If an individual is fixated on problems, then it begins to seem to him that all the people around him are very successful. As a result, he begins to compare himself with classmates or colleagues. As a result, such an individual becomes negative.
- However, childhood trauma can also play a role in envy. If a child is limited in desires or compared to more successful children, then over time, he may begin to experience a sense of competition. And this is a direct path to pathology that will lead to depression.
Why is it dangerous?
There is no doubt about the danger of various mental destructive manifestations. Jealousy is a bad feeling that leads to consequences that can really hurt you. Consider what can happen to a person if he constantly compares his life with the lives of others.
- There is such a direction in medicine and psychology, which is called "psychosomatics". It studies the influence of psychological factors on the occurrence of certain diseases. In fact, envy has a very strong effect on human health. If he is constantly exposed to this negative factor, he can become seriously ill. Remember that emotional experiences have a very strong effect on the work of internal organs. They start to fail. As a result, the subject becomes seriously ill.
- The flow of negative emotions affects a person's actions. As a result, he constantly makes mistakes and gradually ruins his life. All this gives rise to self-doubt.
- Envy can lead to dire consequences, namely, to general anger. Remember that evil breeds evil. When you act in a negative way, you harm not only the people around you, but yourself as well.
- Envy kills positive emotions. A person becomes depressed, and this circumstance does not at all help communication with other people. As a result, he risks being left completely alone.
- When a destructive feeling appears in the soul, it makes a person vulnerable. It always seems to him that a terrible event is about to knock on his life. Therefore, he becomes nervous and cannot calm down.
- A person does not live in peace, as he always tries to prove to himself and others that he is the best. This rhythm makes the psyche work hard. Therefore, over time, this person may develop neuroses, and life will become unbearable.
How to get rid of?
Naturally, if you have a tendency to envy, you need to fight it by any means. Human envy is a vice that sooner or later will lead you to a hopeless position. You can argue on this topic for a long time and go into philosophy, but it is better to start acting.
- First of all, a person needs to admit that he is constantly envious of someone. In the end, shame yourself for it. Conscience is your best controller. She will definitely tell you in which direction you need to move.
- The realization that you are an envious person is already progress on the path to success. Therefore, reflect on your behavior and think: it is this behavior that brings suffering in the first place to you.
- Don't just try to "lull" your jealousy. This is useless, since she will always "wake up" all the time as soon as a more successful person appears next to you.
- Don't fight your jealousy by elevating yourself in your own eyes. Such actions will lead to its further proliferation. Therefore, first of all, accept the fact that there are people in the world who are much more successful than you. Just be honest with yourself, then the world around you will seem simple and understandable to you.
- Remember that a decent person becomes the best person in this world. However, if you disagree with this statement, then think this way: the world around us is not fair. Accept this fact and come to terms with it. And if you do not want to put up with injustice, then act and achieve results.
- Learn to be happy for other people's successes. Just tell yourself, "Others also have a right to happiness." If you are surrounded by happy and cheerful people, then your life will be filled with joy, as you can recharge with positive energy.
- Be fair to the people around you. If a person works hard and tries to reach a new level, then envy towards him is completely inappropriate. Keep this in mind when a destructive feeling arises.
- Our life consists of ups and downs. It is possible that a dizzying rise awaits you soon. Therefore, do not waste energy on empty emotions, but improve yourself.
- Set goals and go towards them, despite the difficulties. Setting goals is okay for a smart person. As a result, you will not have time for empty experiences.
- Develop positive thinking. First, forbid yourself to think in a destructive way, and then completely abandon any negativity. Such measures will help you reach a new level of development.
- The exact opposite of envy is benevolence. Learn to be a kind person. Good attracts good. Once you follow this advice and act in a positive way, you will be in luck.
Don't expect everything to work out by itself in your life. Take action to get what you want to get. Then envy will fade into the background.
What if they envy you?
Quite an unpleasant feeling when people around you are hostile to a person because of his success. In this case, a successful person must defend themselves and distance themselves from such negative manifestations from the outside, because the above described feeling destroys the energy shell of the one who is greatly envied. As a result, such a person can lose both health and luck. And it is also not very pleasant to realize that you are in the center of destructive external expressions. Therefore, try to rid yourself of such an unpleasant phenomenon as envy. Some tips will help you with this.
- You will hardly be able to ignore the envious people. Therefore, try not to hide from them, but to protect yourself. For example, you can put energy protection. Throw a reflective cloth over yourself at the sight of your enemies. Disconnect completely and walk past them. In this way, you will eliminate negative surges that will be released in your direction.
- Don't tell anyone about your success. Let your envious people only guess about them. They will have to work a little to get any information about you. They will expend some energy and this will reduce the negative impact on you.
- You feel that a certain person treats you negatively. For example, he constantly belittles your dignity and tries to prick with words. Stop communicating with him. If this condition cannot be met, then behave coldly when meeting with him, and speak only to the point.
- Even in ancient times, people protected themselves from the evil eye with the help of various amulets. Try this method too. You can take an ordinary pin and attach it to the clothes from the inside with the point up. It is believed that in this way the negative is neutralized.
- There are people who take your energy through negative actions. Usually they are envious. Therefore, you need to fight them back in time. If you notice something similar behind any of the people around you, then take action.
For the first time, it will be enough to express your complaints in the face of your offender. If the person really has negative feelings for you, they will get scared. This will discourage him from wanting to harm you.
In the next video, you will find a definition of jealousy and how to get rid of it.